lolx today i was ulrta super duper tired. i woke up for sch and i dozed off while brushing my teeth, i had to like play music with my handphone while i was bathing or i tink i might have fell asleep with shampoo on my hair or smthing. i was super tired. explaining why i went to sch with oni 1 objective: GET AS MUCH SLEEP AS POSSIBLE LOL. so just when i tot i recoverd from my sleep debt due to watching champions league at 4am and oni sleeping for less den 2 hours the day b4 LOL I HAD SLEEP DEBT TODAY AGAIn. to add on to it i have a splitting headache now LOL. but i dun know why i feel so happy and high la. i tink seriously i always get high when i game with u fags. pubmaster... my ass man LOL.

this post wun make sense like duh. cuz i kind ahave a headache now i can't tink la fei LOL. i decided to pon tkd tml =.= i am sorry but hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm FRIDAY LEH WHERE GOT MOOD GO. moreover a certain black belt chen yu shu told me they say friday compulsory actually is optional. bo bian la i must have some life, if i go for taekwando on friday, i will burn my friday happy hour which can be used to hang out etc etc. HOWEVER saturday we have some leap traiing thingy to train u speak. OKAY so all the more i shud pon cuz i wan the time to do the stuff i like lolx, when was the last time i went out. =.= ZZZZZ. u get the point?

so yeah yea friday is a veri impt day to me i wun let anything take it away from me. the feeling ug et on friday is just so special haah. oh well time to heal my throbbing headache, i still gotta rob the bank later with a certain banana. cya doods.

{9:00 AM}

Many people crumble under pressure. they start going all serious and luff less. i tink for me it's the opposite LOL. i wa trying to mug today, which i did la. but i had a resolve to mug all the way till 4am. den just nice watch soccer b4 going to sch. meaning i wun realli sleep today except for the 3 hours nap i took when i got home. BUT LOL. i was like under stress from studying and i tink i am getting a little insane LOL.

it all started when we had a mass conversation, the 7 lase guys. i just came back from dinner, and ron was alreadi playing chess with james on yahoo games. SANE GUYS MAN. wy was mugging physics i was muggging maths, james kena poon by ron in chess, damm sad case la. den niway, after that. ron started tempting us into playing dota. den wy. den i was like AIYAH WATEVER LA TML 2 lectures only no harm playing some dota, so we spammed james who dropped into the toilet bowl after he bathe never to return but dun know why he's back in the game when i was in LOL.

we started the game badly but oh well we almost overturned it. we were at a disadvantage niway, bad hero choics and stuff. but yeah got kped for maphacking and all the bullshit but haha, we play the rematch and totally owned. we all played our best hero and pwned the crap out of the opposition den we started to kp LOL. we kp back say they maphack, question thier intelligence etc etc. i tink cs has realli made us the king of kps, =.= we can kp until they have nothing to say all quit game after thier base is totally owned.

so it was 1am. james was persuading us to cs. ron said he gotta sleep tml got lesson. niway james had x country so i can ton with him since i had oni 2 crappy lectures tml, the rest all can sleep one. so hmm yea, we decided to do the lamest thing i ever done at such at time. we went to play yahoo blackjack. LOL WTF. and i kept luffing my ass off, cuz of the way we played. james please take 6 ccards so u bao on purpose LOl. damm lame la luff till die. so when i tot i wud actually die of luffing, =.= ron suggested we go play yahoo graffiti.

WHICH WAS EVEN WORSE. it was like pictionary the 4 of us take turns to draw and 3 of us guess words. and seirously, ALL OUR ART SUX LOL. ALL CANNOT MAKE IT LA. one simple thing must draw a lot of rubbbish a lot of crap to guess. it was realli damm funny becuz haha, our art sucked so bad we started guessing some realli lame stuff LOL. ai niway i tot i wud blog this down cuz if i went to sleep i probably can't the brain's too active. ig ot 2 hours of sleep b4 the 4am CL match. oh well better go sleep not .2.30am out. 1 hour 30mins of sleep gogogo.

{10:12 AM}

dun we all do things that we know are meaningless at times. even if there's no chance of success, we would still go ahead and do what we wanna do. if u never try, you would always be living in regret thinking to urself sheesh, why din i do this at that point of time. how i wish i can turn back time etc. the point i am trying to make here is, live ur life without regrets. just do what u wanna do. even though u may lose something valuable in the process, like e.g ur dignity, ur pride, a fren etc etc. dun be bound by this beliefs. humans are humans, we all have different dreams. it's just how far u are willing to go to make ur life happy. if you are gonna just sulk dere and do nothing, complaining bout how life sux, how unfair life is, nothing is gonna work out haha. cuz u aren't taking any action.

IF u realli want something. take action.make the 1st move.have some initiative. do not wait for the thing to come to you. the world dosen't work that way. welcome to reality. IT dosen't matter if you tink it wun work. if u tried and it failed, AT LEAST NOW u will never ever in ur entire whole life, look back and thought back to urself, shit why din i do that den. u will never know the outcome till u try. when it's gone, it will be too late.

you know i have been wondering lately haha. i have watched plenty of anime, and they all had the same idea. the main character will always do stuff that they were not sure off whether they wud succeed or fail. but they usually do succeed in the end.
In full metal alchemist, the eric brothers set off to find the philospher stone so they 2 could both regain normal human bodies. they did found it in the end. but guess what. ed the elder brother sacrificed his life using the philospher stone to revive al, who got killed by the villians. Al was brought back to the world with no memory about his elder brother at all. yea the ending was heart breaking, sad enuff to make the cold-hearted like me tear. but if u looked back at it, it din realli matter whether they could both get what they wanted and live happily ever after. what happened was the process and the fact that at least they tried. it din matter if one had to die, the memories they had was something irreplacable, brothers caring for one another till one dies,it's this that matter not the outcome.

In gundam, kira released lacus back to the enemy out of love, he din care if he defied military orders, or he is gonna get executed by doing so. the chances look so slim, that something good will turn out. neither was kira looking to live happily ever after with lacus since he released lacus, the enemy hostage, back to the enemy just to sure she was safe. Mwu La Flagga died protecting his love, Marius the captain of archangel. did he regret? no he died with a smile on his face. it din matter if they can no longer be together, cuz once again it's the memories that will be found deep in thier heart tt matters.

That's why it realli dosen;t matter if things work out or not. what happens is u remember the happy times and move on shud u fail. =) it's not good to brood over stuff, things will never improve that way. people look better when they smile niway ahah.

niway i experienced something veri wierd in sch today. u know, yesterday i slept late, like around 2.30am. i tot i was exhausted so i lie on bed and closeed my eyes. after 14mins i can't even sleep. den it's like i just keep stoning on my bed thinking bout random stuff, den i dozed off eventually but i keep waking up in 30mins interval. during one of the liek 10th time i woke up i wondered what time it was alreadi hoping sch wud come faster and i do not have to endure sleepless nite =.= den when it was REALLI time for sch. suddenly my entire body feels like it's going to crumble, my chest muscle aches, my body seems so be filled with fatigue and yet at the same time my brains seems so be so alive and kicking. so wierd. haha.

kinda random post i just tot of writing this on the bus haha. cya doods

{1:32 AM}

me and james was trying to cheat weeyong's time. so we lied to him that i was looking at James' room via his webcam. so weeyong was like realli bored and he was damm despo he believe i was actually looking at James' webcam. Then me and james found it realli amusing that wee yong com knowledge is realli that low that he actually believe it's possible to connect to James' webcam without msn. it was so darn funny we decided to continue lying to him. read the chat log LOL.
exodus - me
serenity - james
Kironaku - WeeYong

[23:29:58] Serenity: :D
[23:30:03] Serenity: :D
[23:30:04] Serenity: :D
[23:30:05] Serenity: my ip
[23:30:06] Serenity: i give u wy
[23:30:10] .: ExoduS :.: dun la
[23:30:11] .: ExoduS :.: later i lag
[23:30:12] .: ExoduS :.: DUN COME IN LA WY
[23:30:13] Kironaku.H : z
[23:30:13] .: ExoduS :.: lolx
[23:30:16] Serenity: 219.74.60.53 <-- tune in now
[23:30:17] Kironaku.H : james's webcam
[23:30:19] .: ExoduS :.: yea
[23:30:20] Serenity: :D
[23:30:22] Kironaku.H : can tune uin de ma
[23:30:23] Serenity: full month yi xia
[23:30:24] .: ExoduS :.: can
[23:30:24] Kironaku.H : how to?
[23:30:24] .: ExoduS :.: can
[23:30:29] Kironaku.H : I dont have a webcam
[23:30:29] Serenity: through WMP
[23:30:31] Kironaku.H : how to tune in
[23:30:31] Serenity: can la
[23:30:33] Serenity: just watch
[23:30:34] .: ExoduS :.: fei
[23:30:35] .: ExoduS :.: wy
[23:30:36] Serenity: u open windows media player
[23:30:37] .: ExoduS :.: ur com skills pro
[23:30:38] .: ExoduS :.: LOL
[23:30:40] Serenity: then u press Control + L
[23:30:42] Serenity: u put in ip
[23:30:45] Serenity: then u press load
[23:30:49] Serenity: can see me yi xia
[23:30:58] Serenity: oh
[23:31:00] Serenity: its Control + U
[23:31:07] Serenity: then u put
[23:31:09] Serenity: http://219.74.60.53
[23:31:18] Kironaku.H : ctrl + l nothing leh
[23:31:20] Serenity: then can see me for a while
[23:31:20] .: ExoduS :.: oh
[23:31:22] Serenity: control + u
[23:31:24] Serenity: ctrl+ u
[23:31:24] .: ExoduS :.: is contrl u la dumbo
[23:31:24] Serenity: z
[23:31:41] Serenity: i doing limbo rock now la
[23:31:42] Serenity: so funny
[23:31:45] .: ExoduS :.: LOL
[23:31:46] .: ExoduS :.: AHAHah
[23:31:47] .: ExoduS :.: HAHAHAH
[23:31:49] .: ExoduS :.: DAMM FUNNY
[23:31:52] Serenity: wy
[23:31:54] Serenity: can load a not ?
[23:31:54] .: ExoduS :.: WY FASTER COME AND SEE
[23:31:55] .: ExoduS :.: LOL
[23:31:58] Serenity: can load liao
[23:31:59] Serenity: faster
[23:32:01] Serenity: then i do again
[23:32:03] Serenity: :D
[23:32:13] Serenity: wy wy ?
[23:32:15] Serenity: can ?
[23:32:18] Serenity: i cannot find u in my ip log
[23:32:36] Kironaku.H : serching
[23:32:43] .: ExoduS :.: aiyah faster la
[23:32:45] Kironaku.H : network error
[23:32:46] .: ExoduS :.: u miss the imbo rock
[23:32:47] Kironaku.H : zz
[23:32:47] Serenity: faster leh
[23:32:47] .: ExoduS :.: limbo
[23:32:50] .: ExoduS :.: aiyah
[23:32:57] .: ExoduS :.: i tink cuz james can oni connec tto one at
one time la
[23:33:44] .: ExoduS :.: wait
[23:33:52] .: ExoduS :.: u can use another program
[23:33:55] .: ExoduS :.: u download quicktime
[23:33:58] .: ExoduS :.: can work also
[23:34:00] Serenity: wait i pass u the link
[23:34:04] .: ExoduS :.: i tink wmp never support
[23:34:14] Serenity: wei wy
[23:34:25] Kironaku.H : ?
[23:34:28] Serenity: http://www.apple.com/quicktime/download/win.html
[23:34:33] Kironaku.H : i ahve qt
[23:34:40] Serenity: oh wait ah i think
[23:34:42] Serenity: wait
[23:35:17] Kironaku.H : notihing happen legh
[23:35:25] Serenity: wait
[23:35:28] .: ExoduS :.: wei james
[23:35:28] .: ExoduS :.: i tink
[23:35:30] Serenity: i think that one cannot connect to the port
[23:35:36] .: ExoduS :.: u can use XPlayer 3.21 to see
[23:35:37] .: ExoduS :.: can rite?
[23:35:41] Serenity: ya
[23:35:44] Kironaku.H : what is that
[23:35:47] Kironaku.H : xplayer
[23:35:48] .: ExoduS :.: some webcam player
[23:35:48] .: ExoduS :.: LOL
[23:35:49] Serenity: my fren also use that to tune
[23:35:49] Serenity: wait
[23:36:00] Serenity:
http://www.download.com/XPlayer/3000-2139_4-10500710.html?t
ag=pdp_prod
[23:36:03] Serenity: get from here
[23:36:47] .: ExoduS :.: okay faster
[23:36:56] Serenity: okay faster
[23:36:57] .: ExoduS :.: jame's limbo rock waitinf for u
[23:36:58] .: ExoduS :.: lolx
[23:37:01] Serenity: :D
[23:37:05] Serenity: i abit noob ah my limbo rock
[23:37:09] Serenity: can go below that level
[23:37:10] .: ExoduS :.: fei a bit noob
[23:37:10] .: ExoduS :.: wei
[23:37:13] Serenity: 203.117.137.26:27017;password 123
[23:37:14] Serenity: 203.117.137.26:27017;password 123
[23:37:15] .: ExoduS :.: why u use bamboo pole?
[23:37:16] Serenity: eh we go in first
[23:37:17] .: ExoduS :.: ur house so poor ar
[23:37:18] Serenity: 203.117.137.26:27017;password 123
[23:37:18] .: ExoduS :.: loxl
[23:37:19] Serenity: 203.117.137.26:27017;password 123
[23:37:21] Serenity: ai ya
[23:37:26] .: ExoduS :.: wei wy
[23:37:27] Serenity: i later change ot the hanger stick
[23:37:27] .: ExoduS :.: go in 1st
[23:37:28] Serenity: 203.117.137.26:27017;password 123
[23:37:29] Serenity: 203.117.137.26:27017;password 123
[23:37:29] .: ExoduS :.: i teach u how
[23:37:32] .: ExoduS :.: to use the program
[23:37:35] Serenity: ya
[23:38:04] Serenity: 203.117.137.26:27017;password 123
[23:38:09] Kironaku.H : is that cs
[23:38:11] Serenity: ya
[23:38:12] Serenity: fei
[23:38:14] Serenity: LOL
[23:38:15] Kironaku.H : kik
[23:38:17] Kironaku.H : lol
[23:38:18] Kironaku.H : oaky
[23:38:24] .: ExoduS :.: WEBCAM GOT PASSWORD ONE LEH
[23:38:25] Serenity: Ok
[23:38:26] .: ExoduS :.: GOT GOT
[23:38:28] .: ExoduS :.: ABUDANT PASSWORD

omg i keep luffing and luffign till i had cramps. WY TOTALLY BELIEVED US LOL. AND WE WASTED HIS TIME LOL. song bo wy LOL

{9:53 AM}

Another week has passed, and i must say the friday ended of on a high note haha. i really am feeling more and more at ease with life. It's this kinda feeling that i am looking for. no worries, just being myself and who i am. It feels great.

Friday was a LONG day in sch. but for some strange reason, i was quite high haha. once again there was someone who claimed that i am very different haha, much more happier now. yea i am lolx. it's a tiring day at sch but hmm i had my gd share of laughs in sch. It's feels great to just go thru everiday in sch with the sole purpose: to enjoy life. to always be happy, always laughing, always cracking jokes haha. You know during lesson, whenever i am bored, just the thought that it is friday wud cheer me up instantly. finally the great weekends are here haha, and the thought of gaming at nite just appeals so much to me haha. finally i can get together with some frends and make a fool out of ourselves while gaming, enjoying late into the night haha.

My parents aren't at home so i din realli wanna go back too earli haha. so yeah i stayed in sch to play bridge/daidee haha. wat a great way to end the last day of sch haha. sitting dere listening to music and thrash talking haha. life rules. I den went home at like 6.30 to finish watching full metal panic! and den followed by gaming with the folks. it was realli a great friday la everything went well and i was constantly happy haha.

So niway fastfoward to this morning. i din realli have enuff sleep cuz at 9.40am someone smsed me =.= LOL den i was unable to go back to sleep all i could do was just lie on the bed and stone.

yea so i am suffering frm the lack of sleep now and earghz this post seems just so random LOL. aiyah dun knwio what i typing liao i tink i go take a nap haha. =))

{5:04 AM}

lolx HIGH EQ. guys please constantly remind me that i keep forgetting =.= u know it's a prerequisite that one must have a high eq in order to be a psychologist. I MUST HAVE HIGH EQ IF NOT HOW TO BE ONE.

ai, i am grumbling bout this eq thing cuz i was kinda put off by my parents. they tink i have NOT been studying. BEST. aiyah i alreadi say so many time until i dun wanna say liao =.= ZZzzz i stayed in sch till 6pm to mug till i drop and btw there was no distractions, i was seriously 100 percent focused on mugging. den they say i slack in sch. this ain't the 1st time liao =.= i also lazy to explain to dem la, let dem tink what they want zzzz =.= zai parents. own son mug say he slack. how encouraging. =)

well niways i shan't be affected lolx. it's part of training to be a psychologist. and moreover my parents say psychology no future. please take a look at Stuart Tan, see how far he went with NLP please. they say i can't make much. oh well no.1 it's my passion and dream, this ain't gonna stop me la. i will do anything it takes to be one. i am alreadi doing background reading on psychology liao la, buying the books and stuff. SO THAT JUST IN CASE, they suddenly pms insist i go into medicine or smthing, i am gonna take 2 degrees LOL. tt's how focused i am on being a psychologist la. i shall show dem, i can be the next Stuart Tan . I shall drive a convertible and live in a landed property by 25. WATCH ME!

yea yea. SO HIGH EQ PLEASE. stop getting affected DOOD. be focused on ur goals.

{7:16 AM}

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDD SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE MMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I AM SO DAMM HAPPY LOL.

u know today someone said u seem happier today. AND YES FOR ONCE I CAN SAY YES I AM GENUINELY HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BECUZ OF ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. NOT CUZ OF ANYONE ELSE LOL. I SEE THRU STUFF ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. NIRVANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay i know i dun make sense now just too happy and insane to type soemthing logical! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

{4:44 AM}

so fast the holiday seems to come to an end and everyone i know can't see to be mugging 100% all damm sian haha. read this log LOL.
[21:39:35] .: ExoduS :.: wat's wrong with moe
[21:39:39] .: ExoduS :.: why give 1 week holiday
[21:39:48] .: ExoduS :.: if oni i can wake up to find tml another week
worth of holiday
[21:39:50] .: ExoduS :.: EARGHZ!@#!@#!@
[21:40:08] totally worn: i hope got bird lfu
[21:40:11] totally worn: now malaysia have alr
[21:40:11] .: ExoduS :.: SAME
[21:40:12] .: ExoduS :.: LOL
[21:40:12] .: ExoduS :.: OMG
[21:40:12] totally worn: maybe sg will ahve
[21:40:12] .: ExoduS :.: HAH
[21:40:14] totally worn: sure 1 month hol
[21:40:19] totally worn: soon the virus iwll evolve
[21:40:22] totally worn: then spread from human to human
[21:40:22] Kironaku.H : i hope it spreads to singapore
[21:40:23] totally worn: then gg
[21:40:24] .: ExoduS :.: SAMe
[21:40:25] .: ExoduS :.: HAHA
[21:40:26] .: ExoduS :.: LIKE SARS
[21:40:27] .: ExoduS :.: LOL
[21:40:28] totally worn: the virus is mutating too fast.
[21:40:32] Kironaku.H : i hope it's something big
[21:40:34] .: ExoduS :.: PLEASE GOD PLEASE MAKE IT COME TO SINGAPORE
21:40:40] Kironaku.H : PLEASE GOD
[21:40:51] Kironaku.H : GOD
[21:40:55] Kironaku.H : CAN YOU HEAR ME?
[21:41:03] .: ExoduS :.: it's me. wy
[21:41:03] .: ExoduS :.: LOL
[21:41:04] Kironaku.H : PLEASE MAKE BIRD FLU COME TO SINGAPORE
[21:41:11] .: ExoduS :.: or terrorist attack
[21:41:12] .: ExoduS :.: or smthing
[21:41:12] .: ExoduS :.: LOL
[21:41:26] Kironaku.H : ANYTHING THAT CAN STOP SCHOOLS FROM
FUNCTIONING
[21:41:34] Kironaku.H : SO EVERYBODY CAN STAY AT HOME AND GAME
[21:41:41] Kironaku.H : PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
[21:42:03] totally worn: dont say sufh
[21:42:06] totally worn: such stuff to god
[21:42:07] totally worn: say it to satan
[21:42:09] .: ExoduS :.: LOL
[21:42:09] .: ExoduS :.: HAH
[21:42:10] .: ExoduS :.: HAHA
[21:42:17] totally worn: god wont let it happen
[21:42:18] totally worn: u kp la
[21:42:23] totally worn: in church we were praying today it will stop
mutating
[21:42:25] .: ExoduS :.: www.guanyinma.com la wy LOL
[21:42:26] Kironaku.H : LETS PRAY THAT OSAMA DROPS A BOMB AT MY
SCHOOL
[21:42:26] totally worn: here u are praying that it will happen
[21:42:31] totally worn: .
[21:42:32] totally worn: u will die
[21:42:36] totally worn: a horrible death
[21:42:38] .: ExoduS :.: nah
[21:42:40] totally worn: then i'll get into the west zone allstars
[21:42:41] .: ExoduS :.: he wun be in sch
[21:42:41] .: ExoduS :.: LOL
[21:42:44] Kironaku.H : ...
[21:42:57] Kironaku.H : LETS PRAY THAT TERRORISTS BOMB MOE
[21:43:02] totally worn: wy i think i can get in if im sec 1 now
[21:43:04] totally worn: .
[21:43:25] .: ExoduS :.: no let's hope terrorist come and hold moe
building as hostage
[21:43:31] .: ExoduS :.: like how they hold the russian sch
[21:43:31] Kironaku.H : NONONO
[21:43:42] Kironaku.H : HOLD MY PRINCIPAL AS HOSTAGE
[21:43:45] .: ExoduS :.: den we must stop all sch activity oh yes
[21:43:45] .: ExoduS :.: LOl
[21:43:56] Kironaku.H : AND THREATEN TO KILL HER IF SHE CONTINUE
SCHOOL
[21:44:14] .: ExoduS :.: aiyah u go set off bomb threat
[21:44:20] .: ExoduS :.: go wrap an alarm clock
[21:44:25] .: ExoduS :.: den go report to ur sch admin got bomb
[21:44:27] Kironaku.H : IF I AM DISCOVERED
[21:44:28] Kironaku.H : GG
[21:44:28] .: ExoduS :.: den cancel lesson
[21:44:28] .: ExoduS :.: LOL
[21:44:33] Kironaku.H : REALLY DONT NEED TO GO SCHOOL LE
[21:44:36] .: ExoduS :.: LOl
[21:44:37] .: ExoduS :.: DEN GOOD
[21:44:39] .: ExoduS :.: U CAN GAME FOR LIFE
[21:44:41] Kironaku.H : good de lan
[21:44:41] Kironaku.H : t-t
[21:44:44] Kironaku.H : lol

{6:30 AM}

Instructions: The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover. Specify the gender of the target. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment on their page saying they've been tagged. If tagged the 2nd time, there's no need to post again.

Saboed by mr k siong. okay so here goes.
Gender: GUY I LIKE GUYS I AM GAY!!!!!!! WHOOHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jking la =.= kinda obvious.

1. Must be SMART like ben tian cai (okay sounds ego =.=)
we can't be talking bout the weather rite? so at least we shud have some fruitful conversations. so tt's why must be SMART. so we can MUG together jking la LOL. if you can recite the alphabets backwards, u are considered smart enuff. =)

2. Must not interfere with my goals, dreams and aspirations.
In the past yeah mebe u can psycho me to stray away from my aspirations, BUT NOT NOW LOL. i seen light haha. i wanna be a psychiatrist so yeah i have set my mind on it so she must be a person who supports me in the decision i make.

3. NOT A MUGGER
okay this 1 also kidding 1 lolx. cannot be that kind who everiday go home sit at table mug until sleep that kind. this kinda ... i tink the oni place we can hangout is at the library. let's mug how interesting =.= it's fine if u wanna mug till veri veri veri veri late and stuff. but must have a life. life ain't bout the 4As u gonna get at the end of ur A's.

4. Must be sincere and truthful.
Erm no manipulating and stuff. I know some who do such things =.= but niway if u are realli manipulative and scheming it's easy to tell also haha. i ain't that dumb to fall fer silly mind games,u have to do more than play 1 of ur silly games haha. people learn as they grow older. =p so yeah just be who u are. it's obvious if u try to be someone u are not.

5. Can speak either english or chinese.
like ah duh. if not we use morse code communicate? tap tap tap.... tap .. tapptaptaptaptap. lolx jking la. just be able to communicate well can liao.

6. Must be able to trust.
means cannot be easily insecure or jealous. this matters a lot =.= i dun wanna spend like most of the time reassuring her. BE CONFIDENT OF URSELF.

7. preferably someone extroverted.
here i mean that i dun wan someone who is like erm very QUIET. as in realli super quiet and if i dun initiate conversation she wud just stone and stone till the cows come home. like tt a bit pointless ar =.= communication is the basis of everithing.

8. NO CHAO AH LIAN.
she must not know the san zhi jing better den me. erm den cannot too havoc till the hair machiam rainbow colour. AND NO NONONONONO SMOKERS. I DUN WANNA DIE OF LUNG CANCER. u can like stay out late and stuff but dere is a diff between being an ah lian and hanging out late haha.

8 people i wanna sabo are: =)
1. bryan
2. marcus
3. NICKO
4. Jaslyn
5. my lame and seriously mentally challenged buddy =.=
6. RINNIE <- note i dun act cute by spelling ur name with the 3 and !
7. miss-i-tink-i-am-very-clever-but-wanna-act-bimbo chan
8. JOEL ONG REN YONG

oh ya here is an advertisement for a fren:
If you are a guy,
and
able to do the following:
1. Able to gain people trust
2. Be sporty! Don't be a nerd.
3. Have a super strong stomach
4. Loves pandas
5. Knows Chinese...and preferably can teach me hokkien hahax...
6. Able to detect people true feelings hidden beneath people smiles
7. Motivated
8. Presentable and not filthy rich please!

LET ME KNOW IMMEDIATELY. i am charging u a match making fee of 10cents. if u are like veri shou with me. AHEM AHEM. despo people please stay away =) LIKE E.G "######" fill in the blanks =)

{3:17 AM}

okay i am suppose to qie with everlyn to see who has the most messy room. since she had posted hers here's mine. =)


Note this is heaven.


When you open the drawer. It's hell. Dudes this is how i find my cds.



Even drawer also not enuff space to store my cds. How despo can i get. this compartment is for clothings, the cds goes dere to.



Even the clothing compartment also not enuff, teddy bears have to feel my wrath.



This is how my room ends up looking after i come home. bags on the bed, worksheets all over the bed, files etc. note: the blankets aren't folded.



The wires in my room. Handphone charger, laptop charger, modem, router, computer, monitor, fan , printer, scanner etc etc. it becomes like this. NEAT. this spot seldom gets to be cleaned up at all. how to u sweep and area with so many wires?


Yea. Now u get it. Why mum loves to nag at me. LOL

{4:31 AM}

hey yo wassup dudes. I ATTAINED NIRVANA. oh yes dudes. I SEEN THRU STUFF LOL. OMG I CAN;t BELIEVE IT TOOK ME LIKE A MONTH!#!@##$#%$&%^&$##$ i can't explain how i feel right now, but it feels darn good.

you know i tink hanging out with u peeps is starting to have some positive influences on me lolx. suddenly i recalled how i used to be. tt's the true me man. driven and motivated i wud just keep going. what kinda loser i was for the past month lolx. unconsciously seeking pity frm frens. NO tt's not how Jason used to be =)

i can't believe i let something so insignificant get to me for the past month. remember how i swore i wud do anything it takes to reach the top, to really really realise my dream, attain my goals. and i swore i wud let nothing stop me. not any setbacks.

and i can't believe i stumbled LOL. over something so SMALL AND INSIGNIFICANT. god i am so glad i realised that i was plummeting all the way down and i managed to recover in time. no i had not lost sight of my dreams and aspirations. i just regained sight of dem. i wud be working my ass off to attain dem. i can do it. why not? i believe in myself afterall. whatever tt's coming in my way. just bring it. i will be waiting with confidence. i will take down any oncoming obstacle big or small. what i can't beat with skill, i demolish with speed. becuz i am me. just me. Jason

the past is over. serious. i gonna delete all the depressing posts LOL. they now all seems so dumb to me. like kids throwing a tantrum. omg i am 17 for godsake lolx. no worries, please me assured that on 17th march 2006 3.27am, i swear never ever to be affected by anything else that would distract me frm my goals.

I have everything i want now. it's sufficient. why i am complaining bout lacking this and that. APPRECIATE what i have now. i guess i took it for granted haha. tt's why i am gonna change. i will be the old me. from now. i can't wait to go out dere and work on my dreams again.

all the garbage bout heartbreaks and stuff, OVER OVER OVER. i will start afresh, back to the guy i am. why? becuz i have more important stuff haha.

i can't explain how i feel right now. i feel so enlighted haha. never been so excited bout life b4. i am just so glad i got out of tt dark pit, where i could never see where i was heading for. and i am glad, i got over it. it's time to enjoy life!!!

LIFE ROX OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{11:20 AM}

I had a good talk with 1 of my closest fren tt day. den i realised, what i am doing is simple childish and dumb. wtf am i tinking and doing. it's simply wasting my own time. i mean i was taking pity on myself. THERE's A LIFE TO LIVE OUT DERE FER GOD SAKE. my life isn't just about the things i am brooding over.

i felt dumb for depriving myself a chance to live life. i wanna put things behind me. i know i had been saying this for a long time now but it's always this niggling feeling tt is stopping me from breaking the barrier. i am gonna do it this time. tt day i realised when i was sleeping beside the swimming pool of the condo. what's gone is gone. it's times like this u have to wake up. as i looked at the calm reflection of the night sky,i realised how much i changed. people used to say i was more sane and cheerful. den i remembered how i spent my december holidays. it was fun filled i was happy everiday doing the stuff i like. hanging out. i wun have moody blog posts. just chek teh archives and u get wat i mean.

so it's like i do wanna be my old self. but these certain memories is holding me back. and believe me i gonna do whatever it takes to remove dem. i wanna be the old me. so from now on i swear, i will do whatever it takes to be the old me.

if i were to still remain at my current state den all those who cared will be wasting thier time. and i dun wan that. i am more of a giver den a person who takes. i wanna give. i dun wanna be a person who is constantly taking.

so for the sake of me. and for the sake of everyone else. it will be a new day. a new beginning. for the sake of me.

and i must. =)

for tt's who i am.

{7:03 AM}

I am feeling kinda down now after i was super happy in the same days i tink cuz the events could not live up to the time i spent with ron,wy,james. oh well i honour of 1 of the best guys i ever known in my entire life this post shud not be all depressing let me talk bout the HIGH time 1st haha.

E2max

these 2 faggots. please pose for the camera den run away. dun look at thier handsome faces, see the room given. =) it's called room AVALON haha. zai name and see the room. it totally kicks ass.

the ownage coms. check the sleek speakers etc lolx.

SOFA + PLASMA TV OMG OWNAGE.

our sniper fisker. mr aw wee yong aka no scope. please pose with the headphones.

once again a pic of the coms.

the table a bit messy man. our gears all over the places, headphones etc.

the coms taken across and overviews. chek out the cute circle at the side. ron say damm nice to sleep LOL.

7eam.Lacrhymose taken from wy's side. ron shuai face beside

7eam.Lacrymose taken from james' side.

me. taken my wy =.= peng

me on inferno.

check out our 1337 pings.

e2max public coms.

eating the cake at 4am outside cineleisure....

all the ren faces

OMG SHUAI GES!

i wish i can be allen iverson

cut cake

PLEASE USE THE CAKE's CUPBOARD TO EAT. PLEASE

please dirty the cake.thx

WY DEMO POLE DANCE OMG. CONSOLE KILL

pole dance part II

wy: na li bu shuang?
ron: dao chu bu shuang

let's qie basketball without a ball -.=-

gays?

EX-NATIONAL BASKETBALL PLAYER DEMO HIS GOSU SKILLS

breakdance pro

BREAKDANCE PROS

shuai ge.

oh well i have to say i realli had a great time lolx. i kept luffing the pokeflute and snorlex joke. OMG REN JOKE MAN. den we keep jiaoweing. seriously this is wat life is about. not the plastic faces and hypocrites, backstabbers etc etc. i felt great i rarely have such great company. why the hell can't we all be in the same sch same class. it wud be so 1337.

oh well the LAN was damm ownage. it's like totally different from online haha the atmosphere is just so different when we play side by side haha. something i to remember.

oh well after that ron came my house to sleep onli to realise we can't get into my house since the door was locked. so we ren brains, we tried to climb window =.= LOL means drop down is drop 14 floors. wtf we all sane but the window was also locked so we ren braisn, we went beside the swimming pool tt place to sleep on the chair. and wtf ALL THE MOSQUITOES CAME WE CANNOT EVEN SLEEP so in the end i got so pissed i called home and woke mum up man i was so paiseh. oh and we got so sleep in my room which was good afterall LOL.

so i slept for barely like 3 hours b4 i have to wake up and head to qingyi's house fer the bbq. i was kinda affected cuz aiyah i had some problems den i was sorta talking to an important person to me on the fone fer some time explaining my mia. you guys shud know =.= whatever la.

someone please save me frm this hell hole. serious i dun wanna be who i am now, but i can't help it. EARGHZ

{8:34 AM}

today is ron's bday. happy bday. LOL. okay nvm. the point is this faggot is treating us to e2max overnight. in case you have no idea what e2max is, it's the supper big LAN @ the top floor of cineleisure. moreover, we are getting a private room meaning, there will be 5 computers IN a private room only to us, with 2 plasma screen and 2 xbox and some sofa and couches. how good can life get? LOL

I guess i wud realli be around the com these 2 days i will be 2 exhausted to be chatting on msn haha.

ECSTACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PARTEEEEEEEEEEEEE TIME

{9:31 PM}

life's has took a better turn in recent times haha. i feel so much happier. i never felt so high in my life. okay mebe once or twice but i am damm high now. why? RON TREATING US ALL TO PRIVATE ROOM AT E2MAX @ CINELEISURE THRU OUT THE NITE. PRIVATE LAN GAMING. OMG HEAVEN IS HERE. OMG OMG LOL.

i can;t wait lolx.

{9:39 AM}

Falling twice was never easy.
Pain.
It heals with time.

Scars,
A constant reminder of one's foolishness.
Inboxes cleared,
hoping to run away from the pain.

But it haunts,
without fail.

I hallucinate,
at times,
the vibration of the handphone and the light coming up.
For a split second,
it skipped a beat.

Then it struck me.
I came back to reality.
Lieing on the bed,
wondering what on earth went wrong,
no answers.
Only even more regrets.

When was the last time I had a genuine smile?
I dun know.
I lost track of time.
How long have i been walking down this road,
the boulevard of broken dreams,
I am here.

Logs deleted,
but they are stuck in my mind.
An imprint.

I could deceive myself momentarily.
Bout how strong i am mentally.
yea, but deep down i know it's just to make myself feel better.

True friends leave 1 by one,
one currently alone on the plane.
I had lost sight of my aspirations
Life just seem so distant

Drowning in ballads so soothe the wound,
nothing more than a stinging antiseptic,
a constant reminder.

All the miles seperate,
never disappearing.
and endless stroll.
alone.


alone.

a heart that was never whole to begin with.
a fool dumb enuff to turn deaf ears on his frens.
an extra, never knowing the redundancy
a passing figure, of the cross road.

The days had made me age rapidly.
Leaving me battered
worn out
tired of everything.

People pointing behind backs.
A fool the topic of discussion over lunch.
Close frens that the fool assumed to be.
turned out to be undercovers.

I dun know how long i can keep it going.
Exhaustion engulfs the struggling one.
It tries to stay afloat, but it seems to be never ending.
The soul will break down.
An eternity of pain ended.

the mouse hovers over the delete button.
the fool decides to restore the chat logs.
reading the log, memories flooded his mind
a tear-soaked bio note.

the gastric pain,
insignificant compared to the pain of avoiding.
he wished things could be the same.
a wish never granted.

4/3/2006
killed by a 160 character text message.
an irony.


unwilling to leave home.
afraid of passing places they had been
reminded of the things they did.
the fool waits on his bed for the pain to subside

but it just keep getting stronger and stronger.
things ended with no explanation.
a question mark to be buried deep.
no questions asked.
only painful,reluncatant acceptance


how he wishses,
for all to be a dream.
for him to wake up on a sunday noon,
to find everything to be a fairytale.
one with a sad ending.


screaming deep in his heart.
a pain he could only keep to himself.
if only he knew.
the answer.

The love songs that all seemed to be fake at a point in time,
he totally understood.
it's true.
it realli hurts dere. over the heart.

tears felt on the pillow.
as he hesitated everynight whether to delete.
his handphone glow reflected in his eyes.
of remorse and regret.

A life over already.
For it hurts that bad.
Everything else is numb.
All he wants.
Is just to runaway.

For it hurts.
Bad.

{7:38 AM}

I realised i tend to blog alot these days. i just need an avenue to express myself. i go to sch everiday dreading lessons.

i just can't wait for the hols to come. so i can stay away from the oscars. whatever.

it's okay. i ain't weak. i am strong. i can endure.

{12:29 AM}

Someone just asked me today why i am so happy today. i was so glad that well at least to the person i am back to normal. i hate being sulky and moody. i wanna be hyper and always luffing. always smiling. but i feel i am realli being a hypocrite. despite how damm bloody moody i am, i always have this plastic face to show i am happy. I deserve the oscar.

1 year ago, ron asked me, are u sure Y is worth sacrificing so much? i said yes. more than anything else. Much as all my best frens adviced me to back out, Y's not just worth it i turned a deaf ear. i tot i could make things work out. i refused to believe my best frens. And it ended out that they were right. i should have just backed out. but i din. and things ended horribly.

3 weeks ago, ron asked me again. the same question. are u sure X is worth sacrificing so much? your true self, your savings originally for building a dream com, your time, your everithing. i said yes. X is worth it. Subsequently, once again all my frens asked me to back out. X's is just not the one. i was like, what do u know? i continued to believe i could once again change fate and destiny. there were tons of people asking me to stop being so naive, stop being so fucking stupid, stop being so stubborn. they claimed tt was not the jason they knew. and still i tot it was fine. as long as things worked out.

i had no idea why things spiralled out of control. but yeah i suffered the same fate as a year ago. i fell harder this time. it was the 2nd time i fell. and hell it hurts.

why din i listen to my best frens in the 1st place. why was i so blind. why? i figured out the answer. it's cuz i was just dumb and i was too dumb to realise i was nothing significant.

i realli have nothing to say anymore. i just felt so sorry for myself. after everything i sacrificed, god wanted to repay me in this manner. i decided to give up on humanity. i decided there was realli no point in being sincere. i shall carry a plastic mask with me. all the things i am experiencing now are all just a plastic image. it's all fake. why shud i be bothered bout the current stuff.

There's a glimmer of light in humanity though. the nxt morning of the day when everithing came crashing down i switched on my monitor to receive an avalanche of are u okay messages. at that point i realli felt like crying. there were frens i fell out with becuz i refused to listen to thier advice. they asked me all the same. I am so touched. I can't believe Y actually showed concern. And i used to think Y is a hypocrite. later in the afternoon i received a call from Y asking me to take care. and i still have Y. i was just so moved beyond words that i started tearing. i couldn't even converse properly, i so wronged Y. we may never be what we used to be, but the concern given was just enuff to made me beleive yeah, there are people who are worth it out dere. my sis upon knowing the news, she immediately made me a bowl of noodles for supper. I just felt so loved at that point.

i came to a conclusion that. i will be myself. for the sake of those who cares. i wun take pity on myself. if u ask me if it hurts, yeah it still does. but life goes on. i may not ferget so easily but i know with such frens out dere. it's possible.

i wud listen to my best frens' advice nxt time. i swear. cuz they always seem to turn out right.

i am going thru a tough time now. it's not something that u could just suddenly lose and expect me to cope with. I keep running away from the problem i keep myself busy so my mind wun wander off to the much dreaded thoughts.

I no longer care what others think of me now. i can be termed despo, stupid, retarded, brainless, naive, a fool. i dun care. i can be gossiped behind my back. i dun give a damm. i will live my life how i want. if u are a true fren, u wud stand on the same line with me. if u are part of the plastic world, i will be equally plastic.


it's something gone. life goes on. bear with it Jason. be strong.

{8:09 AM}

i guess my last post could not realli justify how i felt. so yeah this is another post.it's 4am now i and i dun wanna sleep. how i wish i could keep on gaming with st wy james. during tt time frm 12am to 4am, i really was myself and oh it reminded how wonderful it was to be without burden. i luffed till i hate cramps, they keep singing lame songs. marikita my ass. ron too bad u weren't here.

so it's like 4am and now the fact that everything is over has finally sunk in. i am still in a daze. yeah it's over. now i am feeling the effects. i realised i oni feel the pain the worst when there are like no one to pei me when all my frens have gone to sleep. i realli dun know what to say. it's so gonna be a long week.

i have bio and chem tests tml and i haven started, becuz i din had the mood all of last week to mug. yeah yeah alot ppl call me dumb stupid etc etc. what do u people know =.= it's times like this where true frens come into play. i am so touched today that despite the big blow to me, support came streaming in all directions. i had people i had disagreements b4 came to console me, i receieved fone calls to ask if i was okay, i had people who volunteered to pei me, people who give up on thier nocturnal gaming just to kai dao me, people i tot were hypocrites but i realised they are genuine, people i dun even talk to much. if there was anything good i can take out of this, it's that at least i know ppl still care for me, and i gotta be strng for dem. if i take pity on myself , wun i be wasting thier efforts.

so yeah it's over. i dun know how things ended up in this state, things just seemed like a blur to me. i shall mug tml. tt is if i gonna be able to wake up after sleeping at around daylight.

{12:06 PM}

i got killed. by an sms. things will never be the same again. god i beg u. please kill me.

but the concerns are not unheard off. i was touched today by a simple line. some1 just told me. it's okay. u still have me.

thx.

{6:53 AM}

Verse 1
Well I wonder could it be
When I was dreaming ’bout you baby
You were dreaming of me
Call me crazy, call me blind
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time

Pre-chorus 1
Did I lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like I do
I do, you know I really really do

Chorus
Well hey
So much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there’s only you
Been crying since the day
The day you went away

Verse 2
I remember date and time
September twenty second
Sunday twenty five after nine
In the doorway with your case
No longer shouting at each other
There were tears on our faces

Pre-chorus 2
And we were letting go of something special
Something we’ll never have again
I know, I guess I really really know

Chorus
The day you went away
The day you went away

Pre-chorus 1
Chorus

Bridge
Why do we never know what we’ve got ’til it’s gone
How could I carry on
The day you went away
Cause I’ve been missing you so much I have to say
Been crying since the day
The day you went away

The day you went away
The day you went away

{8:02 AM}